The end of an era, the beginning of the next:

www.clerisy-ennahtur.blogspot.com

Hi guys, i got myself a new online identity.

I feel that it is now time to transit from a time in my life when i feel like i'm always just 'almost' in everything, to a place where i'm more confident of myself. It's not that i've reached the end of the journey. It's just that i'm less uncertain about my life's direction and things as such.

To me, online identity is important because on the internet i can pen down my personal thoughts. It's not just a pseudo identity i create for myself, but i want it to be a second name which describes who i am or what i'm going thru at the phase of life.

So that's a little bit about why my nicknames always have an 'almost' in them up till now. Anyway, let's talk about my new online nickname.

I've already created a new email account, and with effect from today, please send all ur emails to klerisei@gmail.com i'll be sending everyone i know a notification email, so no worries abt that.

Klerisei is the greek word for clerisy - which i happen to learn about while at this website: http://www.freerice.com/index.php

To sidetrack abit, please go support this website. i read about it thru Guitar4christ forums, it is a UN website that will donate rice to poor people for every vocab question u get right. So while doing good, u can actually build up some useful vocab too! :)

So CLERISY actually meant "learned persons as a class; literati; intelligentsia" from dictionary.com....yes, i checked the online dictionary to make sure i get every question right. Hahaha.

And why greek and not english? Firstly, it's not available anymore in gmail. Haha. Secondly, the origin came from greek. So i prefer the original. Thirdly, it also has another form, which is "clergy". I might not be a clergy, but i like the fact that there's a religious connotation behind "clerisy". Clergies are ordained persons. Combining both together, it seems to me that klerisei really means "person ordained by God to be learned, literate and intelligent".

Now that's what i want to become....using my intelligence which i know i have and given by God, to make this world a better place.

So as time goes by, pls expect the following changes:

*changed email account (which i've alr. done so)
*changed blog address (thinking of importing the whole thing but i duno how to do tt!)
*changed usernames in websites like Youtube, various forums

I'll have loads of time by the end of this week cos my internship would end on Fri. :D Can't wait to make my final one month useful!

In response to something i've seen somewhere.

There is no condemnation so great that God cannot release.

There is no person on earth so far away that God cannot bring back into His Kingdom.

God is a God of all possibilities.

But, that is before you have limited God with the way you see Him.

That is before the devil came to offer us the wrong perspective of God's character and God's ability.

God has called us to persevere in faith. Hope. Love. More importantly, God has called us to HIMSELF. He is love. He is forgiveness. He is power.

It's easier to get into a pity party and replay the past in our heads repeatedly, punching ourselves on the face than to forgive ourselves and move on in life with healthy perspective of our attitude towards life and the God that we are serving. Indeed, i raise both my hands and feet up.

But ultimately, it is about making the right choice. Making the right choice takes maturity. It also takes courage. But i believe as people of God, we have it within ourselves. We just gotta search a little bit more within ourselves. We might have lost it momentarily, but be sure to find it back. Find back courage. Find back maturity.

Servanthood is never easy. Afterall, the road to Heaven has always been the straight and narrow, ain't it? :)

Really blessed by this weekend's service. Not just in terms of being ministered to greatly in the area of inner healing, but also to be able to look back at how far i have come....how much i've broken through so far, and i can say this to myself: Enling, I'm really proud of you.

2008 have indeed been the best year in my entire life. Whether spiritually or family life, i felt that i have broken through a lot a lot. Of course, it was not before several failed attempts and many more disappointments and discouragement that made it seem as though it's just impossible to break through at all. But it is really because i have not made the choice to put my pride down. I was not humble, and we all know that pride is one of the 7 deadly sins that even spiritual Christians are unable to escape from.

In fact, i can't wait to share with anyone who's struggling in the same area as me my success story. I hope that my story can be a form of encouragement to all those who are waiting for their breakthrough to come. My advice is: Don't just wait. Do SOMETHING. Do something that is totally going to break your pride down into million pieces.

That's the only way we do not become double standard Christians living a double life. In church or with friends, we are all enthusiastic and full of initiative. But when we're back at home, life is the total opposite. That is not the standard we should live by! We are living through the standard of the Bible, which tells us to honour our parents...to love one another, even those that are difficult to love. Not just to 'tolerate' the ppl tt r hard to love, but to really LOVE the hard-to-love. Yes, that includes your utterly snobbish and bratty kid brother or sister. =)

Well well well. At this point of my life, i know that the very best has yet to come. Not to mention, i have other areas that need breakthroughs as well. This is especially so for my studies in uni. I really got to shine for Jesus. And i really desire to do that because it is God's will for me as a student.

Looking forward to more breakthroughs...more brokenness...more contriteness...more humility...more faith...more wisdom...more anointing...but most importantly, & forsaking all other things, more of the Holy Spirit in my life.

Ahhh. I'm happy again. Finally people are giving me things to do at work. Although i feel like a postik girl. If you watched the Taiwanese idol drama called Fated to Love You, postik girl (chinese is "Bian4 Li4 Tie1 nu3 hai2") is the one that does errands and ad hoc stuff that people throw at you. Like literally throw at you cos you are insignificant in the company, AND/OR nice to bully. I feel like that now. Haha. Just that my colleagues are really nice pple, not bullies. it's just that they are busy and need me to do their ad-hoc admin stuff. Which i gladly do.

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Anyway.

This is what my supervisor just told me - eat more lamb meat and red meat. Otherwise will regret in the future cos during the period of child conception if too skinny will have a lot of problems.

I totally agree with this. And now, i'm convicted by her own testimony. She put on a lot of weight after child birth and even before that, she took vitamin jabs that caused her to bloat up and it's not possible to slim down now (or very difficult). In the past, she was short and like my size. O.o

I cannot imagine the day if i become like her. I DON"T WANT. I DON'T WANT. I REALLY DON'T WANT.

I'm a bit traumatized actually. Ya. So much so that i'm convicted now. No matter how much i love to eat veges, i gotta consciously force meat into my mouth for every single meal.

AND. I need exercise. Ugh.

JAY CHOU - The Legend?

This is what i respect about Jay Chou. His passion for music is manifested in many ways, not just in rap and pop altho he started out with that. But as he gains fame and therefore a greater footing in the industry, he has the ability to create his own world. He began to dabble with movie making, MTV directing, etc.

Out of that, he started incorporating classical into pop. And we all know that took off exponentially from his critically acclaimed movie, Secret. And it is very well received to date, including the pieces he composed for the soundtrack. As such, he has successfully enlarged his tents at the same time exposing the public not just in one form of music, but also in the classical form.

He brought what people might perceive as 'cheem' or 'high class' music(which are wrong concepts in the first place!) to the average person who listens to his music or Chinese music in general. He made classical music pop. And cos of tt, i consider him the pioneer in this aspect and i respect him cos of tt. His music influences not only music listeners lik u and me, but also fellow singers.

In one short clip, u hear 3 genre of music. Firstly is classical, then r&b and rap, then Super Mario(gaming music), back to classical again. :)

But if you ask me who do i prefer, Jay or FIR, i'll still say FIR. TeeHeehee.

M'sia's Anwar may emerge the hero in sodomy saga

KUALA LUMPUR - THE sodomy allegation confronting Anwar Ibrahim could end up helping him more than hurting him in his drive to lead Malaysia's opposition to power for the first time in history.

The mercurial former deputy premier says a 23-year-old aide's accusation of sodomy is part of a dark conspiracy to block him from ending the reign of the National Front, which has ruled uninterrupted since Malaysian independence in 1957.

Much is at stake if the established order is overturned.

The parties comprising the Front directly or indirectly own some of Malaysia's biggest companies and dispense patronage in the form of project contracts worth billions of dollars.

Ten years ago, then premier Mahathir Mohamad fired Datuk Seri Anwar, his heir apparent, when they disagreed about how to handle Malaysia's plunge into the Asian financial crisis.
Mr Anwar took his argument to the streets, was soon arrested on corruption and sodomy charges, and jailed for six years before the Federal Court, citing flimsy evidence, overturned the verdict in 2004 after Mahathir retired.

So perhaps it is not surprising that opinion polls show the vast majority of respondents believe Mr Anwar is innocent of the charge. The court of public opinion, rather than the court of law, will most likely decide this case.

Images of Mr Anwar showing up in court with a neck collar brace and a black eye at his 1998 sodomy trial after the police chief beat him up behind bars remain fresh in the collective memory.

'My take is that the likely outcome will be no prosecution, because this sort of thing will be incredibly difficult to prove, unless they have a video recording or a picture,' said Mr James Chin, professor of political science at Monash University, Malaysia. 'It's one man's word against the other.'

Mr Anwar says he has a solid alibi backed by witnesses that proves he wasn't at a luxury Kuala Lumpur apartment at the time his accuser said they had sex there.

Independent judiciaryThe attorney-general, under investigation himself after Mr Anwar filed a police report this week saying he fabricated evidence against him as a young prosecutor in the 1998 sodomy case, might think twice about taking Mr Anwar to court.

Any trial could be long and controversial, a reprise of 1998, featuring angry protests and disenchantment in the majority Malay community over the humiliation of an iconic hero to many of them.

Moreover, Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has taken pains to rehabilitate the tattered credibility and independence of the police and courts, making a guilty verdict this time far less certain this time.

Mr Chin thinks Mr Anwar is in a win-win situation, even if he is charged with a crime for which he can be jailed for up to 20 years. 'If he's charged, he can claim it's a political prosecution and use it to mobilise his supporters. But if the government decides not to prosecute, he can go back to his supporters and say it's just harassing me.'

In any case, the battle for power has been joined and the pace of events could start to accelerate.
The Anwar case has turned into a big headache at the worst time for Datuk Seri Abdullah and Umno, says Tricia Yeoh, director of the Centre for Public Policy Studies in Kuala Lumpur. 'Umno officials say privately they're worried about how this affects the party.'

Yang Razali also sees the heat intensifying on Mr Abdullah and his government, as the Anwar-led opposition mounts an all-out push to win over public opinion. 'More (National Front) MPs may swing around to his side, fed up with what they see as yet another conspiracy to destroy an innocent man,' he says.

'Anwar will then get the numbers to form government, which he says he already has, even as police investigations go on.' -- REUTERS

http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest%2BNews/S-E%2BAsia/STIStory_254168.html

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Totally agree with this.

Treasure Hunting

A Hope that finds its way
Is sweeter than the sound of singing angels.
In the Abyss or above the Clouds,
entering by the cove
seeking and finding, twisting and turning
Are You near to me?
Will You find me?

The noise of crashing cymbals
aid the grandeur of the paveway laid before me.
A place disguised as Heaven.
Nonchalant, I turned away.

Where else can I find Reality?
In you, He says.
Spirited, I bent down –
I saw my toes and it all made sense.

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This poem is pretty nonsensical to me. Anyone care to share their interpretation of this poem?

Labels: random nonsense

Oh i just realized i have 9 more days to the end of my internship! Yayyyyy. It's a 'Yayyyy' cos i'm rotting everyday. Going to work without a purpose....no drive. Sian. Not the first time i'm talking abt this ya.

Mum's bday was well spent yesterday. Lao Pa gave a big hint on Monday nite while walking me home from bus stop to buy Shao Ya (Duck) home to celebrate her birthday. So i did! My brother altho had to do OT and so we began dinner only at 8+, bought my mum a puma waterproof bag. Wahahaha. Good la....can put her sweaty eeky clothes inside after exercising.

Quite blessed that around my workplace have many stalls selling VERY NICE + CHEAP food. Really very nice. You name it, they are there. Yong Tau Foo, Chicken rice, Fish soup noodle, Nasi Lemak, Sungei Rd Laksa, Shao Ya, Ba Chor Mee & Fishball noodles, etc. That's all that i've tried so far. They have the scissors cut rice but i don't think it taste special at all. And quite expensive....$3+. The rest below $3 can eat liao. Except for the Yong Tau Foo which is a bit more ex, but it's delicious.

And my parents including my bro says the Duck, Char Siew and 3 Chang was nice! :D

Mum's birthday today, so won't be attending Mike Connell's meeting tonight. Which is a humongous pity. feel like crying.....lol. But oh well. There's always next year and i just got to hope it doesn't coincide with my mum's bday again.

Slacking at workplace once again. OH what's new.

Anyway, sometimes when i'm bored even at home, i like to google CHC (other times FIR...hehe) and see what are the page results like. More often than not, i see interesting blog posts and i will go and read them.

I came across this blog: http://ian.onthereddot.com/2008/01/07/scary-city-harvest-church-is-so-bad/

It's by far the most interesting and thought provoking read to me. It's amazing how he is able to put his thoughts into words so easily, giving analogies that are easily relatable. My initital thought was: what exactly is his stand? Is he a for CHC or anti-CHC? It's hard to tell cos he started off praising this blogger who wrote that CHC is bad and then moved to doubt the very blogger in the points he had established.

But i realized that that's really not the focus of his blog post. The focus is really put on explaining his stand in accordance to many wrong concepts people have of this church - those, for example, that have a problem with Charismatic denominational churches, or the prosperity gospel and what not.

Let's just say that he is a Christian with a conscience. :)

In fact, several posts i read online that are unsupportive, or to put it more bluntly - massively against CHC and the works of this church are really just assuming off their asses. It's easier to offer lip service than to actually stick your butt in to do some real research before coming to an objective and justified conclusion about what City Harvest is really about. And i'm definitely not saying this because i've been brainwashed.....again another wrong concept that people have. I'm fiercely passionate for the church of God. AND. I know what i'm in for.

Doesn't matter if the writer is a Christian or not, or for this case, a devoted Christian or not. I want to learn & understand the depth of his thoughts. :)

Actually recently don't feel like blogging at all.....feeling quite sian of it suddenly. Maybe it's a passing feeling. *shrug*

Anyway, my work now reminds me of debt collector's work. Everyday chasing sub cons to submit their quotations before deadline. Lol. Gets very mundane.

Sometimes things happen around me which i cannot comprehend. but God knows, and i trust in Him that everything is in His control no matter what. Just that i feel very burdened for certain ppl in my life. I hope they won't take my kindness for granted, or receive it in the wrong way. Indeed i'm here to be a servant and to serve, but ultimately, i hope i've helped them encounter God and their lives get better and better, not worse and worse. AND. that's all to it. no hidden agendas, no other motives that i have in mind that i want to achieve.

Just a cry on the inside.

Yesterday's message was great. Pm was great.

Guys, it's time for you to rise up. Don't let the women do the dirty job!!

Awwww. Ouch.

My butt is super sore now. Sat on the bicycle for 2 hours this morning to afternoon. Thank God i survived. Or shld i say my butt survived. Hahaha. But i'm quite happy cos i haven't cycled for nearly 2 years (or more than 2 yrs...seriously can't rmb). And this time, i'm kinda 'forced' to cycle. Somemore for more than 2 straight hrs!

I started off being scared and thinking how am i supposed to even start the race if i'm scared of being on the bicycle. But eventually the bicycle and I worked out. So great sense of accomplishment...so happy that i finally exercised. Thank God we were the first team to finish the race at East Coast, otherwise my butt is really going to die!

And of course, we won the prize of $60 capitaland voucher! Yippee. BLUE POWER! :D

What's next? Gotta pray and seek God's direction and plan now.